Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Comparison

Do you ever find yourself wishing you were somebody else? Well, maybe not someone else, but maybe have what someone else has.

I read  a blog the other day about a woman, let's call her Sue, who had just bought a house. Sue really loved her house until she went to a friend's house and started comparing the two houses. All of a sudden, Sue's house was really small and shabby, her furniture didn't match and she realized she did not have a two car garage. When Sue complimented her friend's house, her friend complained and said that the house was too small and they were thinking about moving into a nicer neighborhood and into a bigger house with a backyard and a place to put in a pool. Sue slowly began to realize that she would never be happy if she continually compared herself and her things to others. She could choose to be happy with what she had or she could see the flaws in everything around her.

I am hoping you see my point here. 

This may be one of my biggest problems.

I live in a culture where getting married and having a family is one of the most important things you can do in this life. Since my freshman year of college, I have had friends getting married (I have been a bridesmaid six, seven times...I lost count). Some of my friends are on their second- third, fourth- baby. I am not married. And I don't have children.

Another culture I live in views women who are thin to be the epitome of beauty. I have never been thin. I haven't even really gotten close. 

Yet another culture I live in  views money as the root of happiness. I am a teacher with student loans. No hope for me there.

It seems that the only way to fix my problems is to marry an independently wealthy man who can pay off my loans and hire a personal trainer and chef to get me to my ideal weight. And have babies. Lots of babies (Jane Austen had it right, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife".).

OR.....

I can be happy.

This is not to say that I can't improve myself. I still want to be married, I still want to be thin (and healthy), and I still want enough money to be happy. But when I compare myself to others, I can't improve. I can't  move beyond what I see as perfection and compare it myself, which is the definitely not perfect. And it always seems that I compare myself to others when they are at their best and when I am at my worst.

So let's stop comparing ourselves to each other and work on creating the best "YOU" that you can become. It can only lead to feelings of satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. You are now in control!

3 comments:

  1. i love this so much. you're so great, adriana. thanks for putting so much into perspective. you're absolutely right.

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  2. Great post Adriana!! I used to think I needed a ring and I would cry to my boyfriend rather than be happy for all of my friends. I used to think being a stay at home mom would be the answer. Now I'm so happy to be at the place in my life where I am right now and take comfort in the fact that the Universe will give me exactly what I need.. nothing more.. nothing less.

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  3. Adriana, I know this comment is coming a little late, but I just had to let you know how much I love your post. You surprise me all the time! I have never known you to compare yourself to others. You always come off as very confident to those around you. I love your post because I have been feeling the same way lately! I find myself comparing myself to other people on fb and you always see them at their best. Nobody posts the things that suck in their life. So, like you, I choose to be happy! Love you!

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